Faith, Identity, and the Queer Journey
What does it mean to live authentically—especially when it feels like the world is asking you to hide parts of yourself?
Growing up in Leavenworth, Kansas, my journey to understanding my identity as a queer person of faith wasn’t easy, but it was filled with moments of revelation that shaped who I am today. The small town I grew up in was a place of contradiction: it felt safe, familiar, and quiet, but beneath the surface, I found cracks in the foundation of my understanding of identity and faith.
My childhood was steeped in the Pentecostal tradition, raised by a mother who was a trailblazer in a male-dominated religious world. But even with all the love and support from my family, I felt the tension of wanting to be myself, truly and fully, in a world that often didn’t make space for me. My faith, my queerness, my Blackness—all of these pieces of me didn’t always seem to fit together. But the more I explored these intersections, the more I came to understand that living authentically wasn’t just an act of defiance; it was an act of spiritual connection.
Growing Up with Faith: The Influence of Family and Church
I was raised in a Pentecostal family of five. My mom, an Evangelist, was a constant source of inspiration. She was one of the first women in Kansas to be ordained, breaking barriers with every sermon she preached and every prayer she led. Watching her was my first lesson in living authentically. She showed me how to embrace the fullness of who I am, even when the world told me I couldn’t.
I remember sitting in church, watching the Black families around me testify about their journeys—men who had spent time in prison but had found redemption through the Lord, their voices rising in song as the congregation clapped along. For many of them, church was a refuge from the world’s harsh judgment. For me, it was a reminder that we all had stories to tell, but our stories weren’t always accepted by the larger world.
My mother’s ordination certificate, hanging proudly in our living room, was one of my first glimpses into what breaking barriers truly meant. She was called to the ministry, and though the certificate originally said "he," it was crossed out with a bold “SHE”—a subtle reminder that she had to fight for every inch of space in a world that didn’t believe women, especially Black women, had the right to lead.
Faith and Queerness: Finding God in My True Self
As I got older, I began to ask myself, “What does it look like to have a relationship with God as my most authentic self?” It wasn’t a question that came easily. For years, I believed I had to separate my queerness from my faith. I had to choose one or the other. But the truth was, my queerness and my faith weren’t separate; they were two sides of the same coin.
It was a conversation with my mom that truly opened my eyes. She asked me, "Can you be LGBT and Christian?" I had already known for some time that the Pentecostal church wasn’t the right place for me—not in the way it was being taught. But I also knew that my connection to God was real, and it was through living authentically as a queer person that I began to experience the fullness of that connection.
It wasn’t about trying to fit into a prescribed mold; it was about honoring the highest version of myself, embracing every part of my identity. And as I did that, I began to feel a deeper connection to God—one that was unconditional, just as I wanted my love for myself to be.
Style as Spiritual Expression: Black Femme Glam and Faith
Growing up in a Southern-style Pentecostal church, one thing was always clear: church was not just a place to worship, it was a space for self-expression. The women in my congregation—many of them my style icons—showed me that faith and style could coexist. Every Sunday, they would wear head-to-toe ensembles, often with glittering brooches, colorful scarves, and hats that could turn heads. These women knew how to take a restrictive dress code and turn it into a runway show, all while embodying a grace that spoke to their deep spirituality.
I remember thinking to myself, “If I can’t break the rules of dress, I’ll at least break them in style.” These women were living proof that you can honor the Lord while showing up as your most authentic self—and that includes your style. They taught me that spiritual expression didn’t have to be quiet or modest—it could be bold, glamorous, and unapologetically Black.
The Journey of Living Authentically
As I continue to walk my faith journey, I ask myself: How can I honor God by being my truest self? My journey hasn’t been easy, but it’s been rewarding. Every day, I strive to integrate my queerness, my Blackness, and my faith into every aspect of my life. I know that my faith journey is my own, just as yours is yours.
I encourage you to take a moment to reflect: How can you honor your own authenticity? How can you live with the fullest version of yourself, knowing that it’s in your authenticity that you can truly connect with God?
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